Last update July 14, 2022
Meat as a snack? Who would have thought?
I was introduced to EPIC Bars at PaleoFX last year. My first thought:
Meat as a snack? Huh!
I had a taste of the bison at their show table and was impressed with the flavor. I figured I needed to review the bars. When I got home from the conference, I decided to look them up to check out the ingredients and nutritional information to see how they stacked up.
The EPIC Bars company describes the bars like this:
The EPIC bar is a 100% grass fed animal based protein bar designed as nature intended. Paleo friendly, gluten free, and low in sugar, we believe that EPIC foods should inspire EPIC health.
So what’s actually in these things? Well, here are the ingredients.
Ingredients: Organic Beef, Walnuts, Dried Cherries, Lactic Acid, Salt Celery Powder, Fine Black Pepper, Crushed Habanero.
Ingredients: Organic Lamb, Organic Currants, Sea Salt, Lactic Acid, Celery Powder, Spices (Basil, Marjoram, Oregon, Rosemary, Red Pepper, Black Pepper), Sesame Seeds, Dehydrated Spearmint Leaves, Dehydrated Lemon Peel.
Ingredients: Turkey, Almonds, Dried Cranberries (Cranberries, Apple Juice Concentrate), Lactic Acid, Seasoning (Coriander, Cumin, Nutmeg, Red Pepper, Dehydrated Garlic, Paprika, Dehydrated Onion). Salt, Celery Powder.
Ingredients: Bsion, Uncured Bacon – No Nitrites or Nitrates Added (Pork, Water, Brown Sugar, Salt, Vinegar, Celery Powder, Sea Salt), Dried Cranberries (Cranberries, Apple Juice Concentrate), Lactic Acid, Celery Powder, Sea Salt.
The big standout is the 8g of sugar, which is higher than we’d like it to be, but beside that (we’ll let it slide), EPIC Bars seem to be up to snuff from an ingredient standpoint. No long ingredient lists and no unpronounceable names. Win.
Well, they seem to pass the test when it comes to ingredients. Now for the real test. Do EPIC Bars taste any good?
Well, I made my way to Whole Foods, grabbed one of each of the different flavors, and went to work to try them out for myself. The results were surprising…
This is not good. It tastes like a mashup of cranberries and dirt. No lie. The bar is two dollars and I couldn’t finish eating it. I literally spat it back out because it tasted so bad.
Verdict: 1/5 stars (maybe 0 out of 5 stars). Not a good start!
Surprisingly, this doesn’t really taste like lamb at all. This simply tastes like a good piece of beef jerky. I was surprised (especially after the first bar). Who knew lamb could be so tasty?
Verdict: 4/5 stars. Pretty good. Would eat again.
Emboldened by my last try, I decided to give the turkey bars a try. Disappointment ensued again. I’m not sure how to describe this bar without making it sound terrible, but it tasted like the turkey version of the beef type. So, sub out the beef flavored dirt and replace it with turkey flavored dirt and cranberries. What happened?
Verdict: 1/5 stars. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Easily the best flavor. This tastes like a moist, BBQ version of your favorite jerky, with a little spice, but not too much.
5/5 Stars: All day. Every day.
The (Epic) Epic Bar Verdict
I was surprised by the differences between the flavors. I was hoping that each bar would be of the same quality, but the quality varied enormously.
So, what do we think of EPIC Bars? Well, they’re good… If you get the right flavors. Stick with the bison and the lamb. These bars are tasty, delicious, and great as quick snacks when you need something to fight off the hunger monsters. If you’re feeling adventurous, go ahead and try the turkey or the beef, but don’t get more than one of each, unless you like the taste of pain in your mouth. EPIC Bars, when they’re good, are epically good, but when they’re bad, they’re epically bad!
The bars cost ~$3 each and are a (slightly undersized), but I’ll keep a few bison and lamb bars around in case of a hunger emergency (just don’t make me eat the turkey or beef again please!).
(especially the bison one)
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